What is your opinion on cheese? Tasty, nasty, or depends on the type?
TASTY! I will try any cheese at least once— even that weird one with the maggots. I will eat my bodyweight in feta and cheddar. I do not like the flavor of bleu cheese, though the mold doesn’t bother me.
ETA: New additions are marked with an asterisk (*).
Happiness is Homemade by sirona and ellievolia Steve McGarrett/Danny Williams, rated Explicit It’s not easy, running a Jersey-style bakery in Hawai’i. Things get a little easier (and a whole lot more fun) once Danny meets Chin and Kono’s friend, the one who enjoys leaning against his glass cases despite all of Danny’s dire warnings, and starts food fights for no reason whatsoever.
Foster’s Bakery by anatsuno and Cesare John Sheppard/Rodney McKay, rating ranged from Gen to Explicit Grounded by an injury, John Sheppard leaves the Air Force and, at loose ends, takes up running the bakery he inherited from his mother’s family in Colorado Springs. Dating John Sheppard is remarkably easy for Rodney, until it isn’t.
Fair Trade series by esteefee John Sheppard/Rodney McKay, rating ranged from Gen to Explicit AU in which John owns a coffee roastery, Rodney designs exhibits for science museums, Teyla is a physician in internal medicine, and Ronon is an orthopedic surgeon all living in San Francisco.
Black Coffee on a Lonely Night by Femme Draco Malfoy/Harry Potter, rated Explicit Draco owns a café in the city. Harry’s a MP who comes in every morning, newspapers in one hand, BlackBerry in the other, and orders a triple espresso macchiato. (Nonmagic AU.)
Only Two Tragedies by ifeelbetter Merlin/Arthur Pendragon, rated Teen Merlin is a British artist working at a coffee shop and Arthur is a high-and mighty PR mogul’s son. After the former won the latter’s modeling services in a drinking contest, Merlin and Arthur awkwardly and tentatively edged towards love.
Grande Soy Triple Dirty Chai by friskaz Mike Ross/Harvey Specter, rated Mature Every fandom needs a barista au. Original prompt on the kink meme: “Harvey is (still) a lawyer. Mike is the only barista that gets his coffee order right, and isn’t afraid of a bit of intelligent and snarky banter.”
(not actually a coffeeshop AU, but a pizza place is close, right? Regardless this is one of my FAVORITE alternate universes ever. I prefer it over Suits’ canon actually.) Pizza and a Movie by Closer Mike Ross/Harvey Specter, rated Mature In an alternate universe, Harvey’s still a lawyer but Mike’s not a pot runner — he’s a deliveryman for Rollo’s Pizza and Ribs, which happens to be Harvey’s favorite pizza place. Once Harvey finds out his pizza guy is a genius, Mike’s life takes a few turns he would not have expected… (Now with Harvey POV as well as Donna’s!)
*faking a smile with a coffee to go by matryoshkha Clint Barton (Hawkeye)/Bruce Banner (Hulk), rated Teen Coffee Shop AU. In which Clint is a coffee shop employee hopelessly in love with a regular customer, Bruce. (TW: mentions of domestic abuse)
*I’ve Suffered Shipwrecks by paperclipbitch Clint Barton (Hawkeye)/Natasha Romanov (Black Widow), rated Mature Most people, when they break up, sort through their record collections, possibly chuck each other’s clothes onto the sidewalk, engage in soul-destroying coffee dates where they try to sort through the emotional debris, and then leave each other the fuck alone. Clint and Natasha were never very good at acting like normal people, though, which is why they run a cafe together. (WIP)
The Social Network
(I’ve never actually watched the Social Network, but this was a recommended addition to the list!) Sweet On You by moogle62 Mark/Eduardo, rated Explicit Mark is Mark, Eduardo owns a bakery/café near the Facebook offices. Mark does not have time to have a thing for him, but he totally, totally does. Sadly for Mark’s continued enjoyment of a harassment-free existence, Dustin is still Dustin and is entirely devoted to his causes of a) getting Mark laid, b) acquiring all the gossip, and c) acquiring all the baked goods he can. Featuring novelty shaped cookies, frosting in places frosting should never be, and ~feelings~.
*Froth by forthright Sango/Miroku, rated Gen AU. Few women have what it takes to work at Founder’s, but when Sango complains to the manager about the coffee shop’s flirtatious counter attendant, she’s offered a job on the spot. A story told in bits and pieces.
*Coffee, Black by black_ink_tide male(cis)!Hawk/Fenris, rated Gen Awkward Garrett Hawke is a barista with a crush on the guy with white ink tattoos who comes in to Bianca’s Coffee every morning. His friends Isabela, Merrill and Andy take it upon themselves to help him, in the capacity of Wingmen, to not totally blow it with him. It’s an uphill battle every step of the way. Watch out for falling boxes of pornography.
If anyone has a fic to add to this list, please tell me! :D
In the morning, Stiles is hoping really hard that it was all some whacked out dream caused by eating too many burritos. But clearly life hates him, because there’s a huge throbbing bite mark on his hip, and it hurts like a bitch.
But Scott looks gratifyingly impressed when Stiles shows it to him at school, so there’s that.
“Dude, a dog gave you that?” Scott asks, eyes wide.
“Yeah. It was totally freaky, I thought that thing was gonna eat me! It was all howling and growling and shit.” Stiles waves a hand to emphasize his dire peril and almost smacks a classmate in the face. Oops.
“Howling?” Scott says with frown. “Don’t wolves howl? Are you sure it wasn’t a wolf?”
Stiles rolls his eyes. “Duh, of course it wasn’t a wolf. There haven’t been any wolves in California for, like, sixty years.”
The blank face Scott gives at that is really tragic. It’s like he doesn’t even remember the trips they took to the zoo every year. Stiles loves his friend, really, but Scott is such a moron sometimes.
A Detailed Explanation of the Philosophy and Execution of cultivating an Artful Mess, By Donna
So if you’re like me and you hate cleaning more than you hate anything, thereby causing you live in a space that exists in such a state of filth that uneducated people might liken it to the den of some sort of wild anime (deeply insulting, wild animals keep their dens very neat), then this has probably happened to you before:
You are putting another soda can on your stack of soda cans when it is somehow announced that in a day you will have some form of company. A relative is coming over, or a friend, or the landlord is dropping in, or whatever. You are filled with a deep and immediate sense of panic, on account of the fact that your home looks like an episode of hoarders where they hoard garbage. You think to yourself “Jesus Fuck, I need to clean.”
And you do, but you and I both know that A- no matter how fast you clean it’s never going to be done in time, and B- no matter how clean you consider it, a normal human is going to take one look and recognize you for the slob that you are. Never fear, there is a solution!
Artful Mess! An artful mess is a mess that looks, yes, messy, but on a surface level, as if the mess has accumulated over a series of days rather than months.
“But Donna,” you say, “why would I want to have my house still look messy?”
Because you tool, your house will never really look clean, so the last thing you want is someone realizing that your house, which still looks like shit, is actually the cleanest it is ever been. You do not want them to know your secret!
So what you do is this, you hella clean. You clean fucking EVERYTHING, but you avoid cleaning very specific items. For example, you leave some dishes in the sink. Like, half a sink full. Two dinners worth, whatever. You leave your shoes out, some clutter on the tables. You maybe leave the bread on the counter. You cultivate a mess. Leave the garbage half-full. Your house should not look or smell as if you have just fucking decontaminated it in the last 24 hours, so that when your fucking guest shows up you can be all, “Oh my god, I am so sorry about the mess! I’ve been so busy with (important stuff here) that it has just entirely gotten away from me!”
And they’re going to think, well yes, this is messy, but she seems genuinely flustered about it, CLEARLY this is very messy for her, she must be a very neat, tidy, responsible, sexy person!
Then when they leave you just rebuild your mess again. Start from scratch, and do it better than before.
“This week, we give you ten science fiction novels that have been or have been threatened with being removed and banned from libraries and schools. Some of these are among the most popular and beloved science fiction works of the last century. They’ve told us how bad the future might be before we get there, how free you can be if you don’t follow blind belief, and that children are perfectly capable of digesting some pretty heavy concepts, actually.”
#10. Shade’s Children
Shade’s Children is filled with a creeping dread that the computer intelligence that leads the teenage main characters (through the hellish wasteland of our world filled with terrifying robot soldiers with grafted human body parts who fight over territory in a decades long war-game played by three alien tyrants) does not have their best interests in mind.
Yes, all that other stuff is creepy, including the fact that one of the kids didn’t escape the prisoner camps until after he was castrated, but the real slow horror of the book is that eventually Shade is going to betray the children who trust him and learned from him, and no one taught them to think critically enough to see it coming.
Trusted caregivers put Shade’s Children on the top 100 banned and challenged books of the nineties.
#9. The Giver
The Giver features a dystopian setting where citizens have their sex drive removed, certain women are given the “job” of bearing artificially inseminated children, and where babies are euthanized for developing at a different pace than others. All ideas and memories, history, and art that would help in the governance of a society but at the same time cause inconvenient emotions are held in the mind of the community’s Giver, who begins to pass on his gift to the main character Jonas, beginning his eventual disillusionment with the status quo. It makes the point that history, memories, and art; no matter how painful or difficult, are still necessary for a functioning humane society.
A staple of many, many middle and high school curriculums, it was also the 11th most frequently challenged book of the 1990s, in school districts in South Carolina, Florida, Texas, Ohio, and Colorado.
#8. The His Dark Materials Trilogy
Says Phillip Pullman on the reaction to his trilogy of children’s books: “I’ve been surprised by how little criticism I’ve got. Harry Potter’s been taking all the flak… Meanwhile, I’ve been flying under the radar, saying things that are far more subversive than anything poor old Harry has said. My books are about killing God.”
The Golden Compass was the 4th most frequently challenged book of 2007. It rose to 2nd place in 2008, probably because of the “organized campaign that the anti-defamation group the Catholic League launched against the film version of The Golden Compass.” Their president called it “atheism for kids.”
#7. Stranger in a Strange Land
Stranger in a Strange Land is a pro-religion, anti-theist book about free love and the Sapir-Whorf hypothesis, and was controversial even when it was published in 1962.
So naturally it was challenged as part of the curriculum of a summer “Science Academy” course in Texas.
#6. Nineteen Eighty-Four
In a textbook example of “missing the point,” in 1981 Jackson County, Florida challenged the presence of Orwell’s Nineteen Eighty-Four in its schools and libraries, claiming that the book was pro-communism, anti-Semitic, and had sexual references.
While that last one is certainly true, it still sounds like somebody only read the first twenty pages before doing their book report.
#5. Fahrenheit 451
In 1998, Fahrenheit 451 was removed from the curriculum in a Mississippi high school because a parent objected to the use of the phrase “god damn.”
Is it ironic if you suppress a book that condemns the suppression of print information?
A target that seems to be ripe for the ban hammer is any book that stands firmly on the line between children’s and adult fiction.
A Wrinkle in Time is the beginning of a four part series by Madeline L’Engle that tackles the the vastness of time and the universe, the nature of evil, and the dangers of blind belief. But, it’s got characters known as “witches” in it, so it was the 22nd most frequently challenged book of the 90’s.
Aside from its crunchy science fiction coating,Slaughterhouse-Five is also a near autobiographical account of the author’s experience as an American prisoner of war in World War II, including being present at the fire-bombing of Dresden, Germany where tens of thousands of German civilians were killed by American troops. It is also one of the earliest acknowledgements in popular literature of the fact that the Nazis persecuted homosexuals.
Not only banned (in New York State, Ohio, Florida, Georgia, and Wisconsin) and challenged (in Louisiana, Michigan (twice), Texas, Virginia, Rhode Island, Illinois, Kentucky (twice), and Wisconsin again), copies of Slaughterhouse-Five were burned in North Dakota in 1973.
#2. Brave New World
Brave New World is an example of being banned for advocating things that it in fact advocates against, because the book actually requires you to pay attention to what it is telling you.
It was banned in Ireland in 1932, a Missouri town in 1980, an Alabama high school in 2000; and challenged in Oklahoma in 1988, California in 1993, Texas in 2003, and Indiana in 2008. Compliants mostly dwelled on the book’s supposed endorsement of free love, free drugs, atheism, and rejection of the nuclear family. This would be half-way legitimate if the fictional society promoting those traits was presented as a utopia, but… it’s not. Brave New Worldhas been compared to Nineteen Eighty-Four in its contributions to dystopian science fiction.
Ah, the narrator of relative reliableness. Without it we wouldn’t have, oh, The Tell Tale Heart, orThe Yellow Wallpaper, or Fight Club.
#1. A Clockwork Orange
The film version of A Clockwork Orange has taken the lion’s share of controversy for the IP, as visual art is wont to do. Books, after all, can be boring and take a long time to finish. Movies don’t stop playing even when you look away, and you can actually get through one in just a couple of hours.
However, in 1973 a shop owner in Utah was arrested for selling the book, and though the charges were later dropped, the store was forced to relocate due to the controversy. Later in the 70’s it was removed from two high schools for “objectionable language.” Presumably they didn’t mean bratchny, droog, or garbles.
I’ve read 80% of these. Huh.
Everything on this list that I haven’t already read, I want to read. Because the ones I have read were just fantastic.
^ Funny, thαt wαs the exαct sαme thing I wαs going to sαy.
It’s weird how many of these I don’t think of as “sci-fi”, bewcause we’ve been conditioned to believe that sci-fi is not “academic literature”, and novels that are considered “classics” (like Brave New World or 1984) can’t possibly be sci-fi. I mean, sci-fi (and all other genre fiction, apparently) is fluff, right? It has no place in the classroom, right?
Which, y’know, annoys the hell out of me, because then I end up with professors in the writing department saying that genre fiction isn’t “real” literature, and professors in the English Lit department saying the same thing, and I can’t throw 1984 at them because “that’s not sci-fi; that’s a classic”.
OH WELL. (And I mean, some of these, I would call fantasy, anyway, but then, sci-fi and fantasy are totes the same thing, right? It’s all speculative fiction. ARGH, GENRES, HOW DO THEY FUCKING WORK. [No really, I’m asking, because I think it’s largely up to the discretion of the person shelving the books and varies from system to system.])
I doubt there are any proper rules about the distinction between sci-fi and fantasy. More than once I’ve gotten into arguments about which genre Star Wars falls into (I consider it waaaaaaay more fantasy than sci-fi).
I would choose all of these books for my classroom, especially 1984, Brave New World, Shade’s Children and The Clockwork Orange. Students are starved for opportunities to think critically about the world around them, and the material they engage with on a day to day basis. Some times, it’s nothing more than the classroom that stands between these kids and MTV obliteration.
I was pretty lucky to be able to take an official “English Literature” class in college that was all about sci-fi. We covered everything from A Princess of Mars to Asimov to Ben Bova. I mean, sadly the teacher was a really boring lecturer, but we got to have some really interesting discussions and the readings were obviously rad.
I was only one of three girls in the class, though, and there were like fifty students.
earlier this afternoon and I got suddenly curious how my 86yo grandmother felt about marriage equality and LGBT rights. Since she's often hilarious, I decided to interview her on the phone and post it here. I put it on speakerphone, recorded it, then transcribed it. She's in Miami, and Cuban-born, so this is translated from Spanish. She's a pretty feisty lady. I want to be her when I grow up. Here's what she said:
Me:Grandma, what do you think about this couple in their 90s supporting their gay grandkids in the fight for marriage equality?
Grandma:I think it's very nice. You have to support your family, no matter who they are. You can't reject people for things like that.
Me:If you had gay or lesbian family, would you do the same?
Grandma:I don't know if I could make a video like those people. They speak English.
Me:What about in Spanish? Would you make videos supporting marriage equality in Spanish.
Grandma:Ay... don't get any ideas. I don't want to make a video.
Me:But is it okay if I post this on the Internet? On one of my websites
Grandma:Ignorant people might yell at you.
Me:Oh, that's okay, I don't mind.
Grandma:Yes, you can put what I said on the Internet.
Me:Okay. So do you support gay and lesbian people getting married?
Grandma:I think gay people should be able to get married. Times have changed. Even my ideas have changed. There used to be a lot of ignorance and rumors about gay people, mostly because they had to live in hiding, you know, you couldn't be yourself out in public like they can be sometimes now. So I think people just made things up. But think gay people should be allowed to live their lives like everyone else.
Me:Would you go to a gay wedding?
Grandma:Yes, I would. It would probably be more lively than a regular one. I hate weddings. They're so boring.
Me:They really are. What do you think about people who protest gay marriage?
Grandma:Idiots. Dumb people with nothing better to do. Out of all the things to protest. They should be out trying to do some good in the world instead.
Me:Do you think you would have felt the same way when you were my age?
Grandma:(Pauses) I don't think I gave it any thought. People didn't talk about these things back then. There was a lot of ignorance. Everybody knew gay people, of course, but people didn't talk about it in normal conversation, much less in public like on the news now. I think that's good. Talking is always good. When people know things, they can make up their own minds.I would like to think that maybe with a little information and thinking about it, I would feel the same way.
Me:Do you think gay people should be able to adopt kids?
Me:As a Christian, what do you think the Bible says about gay people?
Grandma:The Bible is very clear that Jesus doesn't care about race or gender or where you came from or anything. He loves everyone.
Me:What about the parts of the Bible that says gay people should be stoned to death?
Grandma:We don't stone people to death anymore...
Me:So you don't think that applies?
Grandma:I think God gave us some common sense to be able to figure out what parts were meant for forever, like "don't kill" and "don't steal" and "be good to people," and what parts were just a record of the society people lived in back then. We don't hide women in the dark during their periods anymore, either. Things like that.
Me:What about gays in the military? Do you think that should be allowed?
Grandma:You know, when I heard President Obama had helped made that legal, I was surprised it already wasn't. If you're willing to pick up a gun and go fight in some war somewhere for my freedom, I'm not willing to do that, so if you are, I don't care if you have a boyfriend or a girlfriend or fifteen cats.
Me:Yeah, I think most people supported that one.
Grandma:It's like I told you. God gave us common sense for a reason.
Me:I know you've had a few close gay male friends. Have you ever had a lesbian friend?
Grandma:I did in Cuba. She was my neighbor and she did everyone's hair on the block. You couldn't really tell she was a lesbian, but she told me, after many years of knowing her.
Me:What do you mean by "you couldn't tell she was a lesbian?"
Grandma:Well, she was very glamorous. She looked like a movie star all the time - that's why she did everyone's hair. Some lesbians, you can tell.
Me:In English, they call the ability to tell if someone's gay "gaydar." Like "radar" but for "gay."
Grandma:Oh! I think I have that.
Me:You think you have good gaydar?
Grandma:Well, I was an artist, so I was around a lot of gay men. And I can usually tell, but Paula fooled me.
Me:The slang term for lesbians who are very conventionally feminine in English is "lipstick lesbian."
Grandma:She did wear lipstick!
Me:Do you think a lot of older people think like you do?
Grandma:I think so. A lot of older people keep up with the news better than you think. And you get to be my age and you realize a lot of past mistakes in your thinking. You realize that a lot of things you think mattered, really don't. And the people who don't think like that, it's mostly because they don't know any better. But even at my age, people can be taught.
Me:Thank you, Pupa.
Grandma:You should show me your website when you put this up. I hope a lot of people read it.