"Developing the ability to piss other people off (or even to RISK pissing them off) without knuckling under is pretty much the Holy Grail of emotionally abused kids, I think. We are programmed to respond at the first sign of displeasure, and we don’t have the faith in ourselves and our decisions to weather the storm– or even a mild sprinkle– so we tend to freak out as if the world was ending if a cloud crosses the sun. We freak out about the possibility that we’re wrong, that we’re doing the wrong things, that we’re making the wrong choices, that we’ll make someone angry, because there’s this awful certainty lurking at the back of our minds that says “If you do the wrong thing, you will be in TROUBLE.” And being in TROUBLE is the worst thing, ever, because that part of our brain is forever three years old where our parents are our whole world and being in TROUBLE is the end of everything.

It takes a lot of practice to gain that sort of gut-level knowledge that we’re strong enough to handle this stuff and that the world doesn’t end if someone else is angry at us. It’s not an innate quality that some people have and some don’t; people who grow up in non-abusive homes learn it when they’re young, is all, and the rest of us have to learn it when we’re grown up. And it sucks, and it’s not fair, and it’s not fun, but there’s no getting around it, and you can do it, you CAN.

You can piss people off.

You can be wrong.

You can fuck up.

You can do stuff that everyone thinks is weird.

AND IT IS ALL OKAY. The world won’t end. You will still be a good person. And the likelihood is that most of the things you do WON’T be wrong, and WON’T piss people off, and WON’T be up-fuckery, and WON’T be weird, but if it is? The hell with it; fix it, if necessary, and move on."

PomperaFirpa @Captain Awkward (via ladysaviours)

Needed this today.

(via one-bite-at-a-time)

I almost cried the other night because Ben didn’t understand what I meant when I said that I was afraid of being in trouble. I should probably show him this. (via lizardsqueezings)

well fuck, this explains a LOT about me. 

(via vampishly)

me too :(

(via hardhatpartycat)

same

(via cereal-for-supper)

  1. pressingteeth reblogged this from randomingoftherandomness
  2. lumiereandpenumbra reblogged this from rufeepeach
  3. hollyonanisland reblogged this from theappleppielifestyle
  4. wishful-thinkment reblogged this from reinnervations
  5. symphoniclovers reblogged this from cerebralrain
  6. reinnervations reblogged this from cerebralrain
  7. cerebralrain reblogged this from realsocialskills
  8. moniatomic reblogged this from anarchohedonism
  9. 2boldlyqueer reblogged this from theappleppielifestyle
  10. onionjuggler reblogged this from kissed-by-fires
  11. leavingmyselfwideopen reblogged this from ladysaviours
  12. wf2df386 reblogged this from adequateantics
  13. draclacorn reblogged this from itmightbehere
  14. itmightbehere reblogged this from yvesadele
  15. blueeyed0 reblogged this from arse-moriendi
  16. iknowwhoyouareandimnotafraid reblogged this from valariedickey
  17. bongsandbrownies reblogged this from down-on-life
  18. niallydia reblogged this from bodaroja
  19. bodaroja reblogged this from kissed-by-fires
  20. godisdelfin reblogged this from stupid-poetry
  21. drams-and-grams reblogged this from heartinamitten
  22. kynali reblogged this from lennyisajew
  23. stupid-poetry reblogged this from adequateantics
  24. rigiddiscourse reblogged this from wocrecovery
  25. rosamondvincy reblogged this from interstellaire
  26. silenttinsoldier reblogged this from hobojank
  27. theflavorofmymadness reblogged this from kissed-by-fires
  28. soakinginthereign reblogged this from rippingbutterflywings
  29. usssunflower reblogged this from adequateantics
  30. wallowinthemud reblogged this from adequateantics
  31. rippingbutterflywings reblogged this from adequateantics
  32. zadjatheifrit reblogged this from adequateantics
  33. adequateantics reblogged this from pajamajalapeno