"Developing the ability to piss other people off (or even to RISK pissing them off) without knuckling under is pretty much the Holy Grail of emotionally abused kids, I think. We are programmed to respond at the first sign of displeasure, and we don’t have the faith in ourselves and our decisions to weather the storm– or even a mild sprinkle– so we tend to freak out as if the world was ending if a cloud crosses the sun. We freak out about the possibility that we’re wrong, that we’re doing the wrong things, that we’re making the wrong choices, that we’ll make someone angry, because there’s this awful certainty lurking at the back of our minds that says “If you do the wrong thing, you will be in TROUBLE.” And being in TROUBLE is the worst thing, ever, because that part of our brain is forever three years old where our parents are our whole world and being in TROUBLE is the end of everything.

It takes a lot of practice to gain that sort of gut-level knowledge that we’re strong enough to handle this stuff and that the world doesn’t end if someone else is angry at us. It’s not an innate quality that some people have and some don’t; people who grow up in non-abusive homes learn it when they’re young, is all, and the rest of us have to learn it when we’re grown up. And it sucks, and it’s not fair, and it’s not fun, but there’s no getting around it, and you can do it, you CAN.

You can piss people off.

You can be wrong.

You can fuck up.

You can do stuff that everyone thinks is weird.

AND IT IS ALL OKAY. The world won’t end. You will still be a good person. And the likelihood is that most of the things you do WON’T be wrong, and WON’T piss people off, and WON’T be up-fuckery, and WON’T be weird, but if it is? The hell with it; fix it, if necessary, and move on."

PomperaFirpa @Captain Awkward (via ladysaviours)

Needed this today.

(via one-bite-at-a-time)

I almost cried the other night because Ben didn’t understand what I meant when I said that I was afraid of being in trouble. I should probably show him this. (via lizardsqueezings)

well fuck, this explains a LOT about me. 

(via vampishly)

me too :(

(via hardhatpartycat)


(via cereal-for-supper)

  1. a-silver-siren reblogged this from novas-grimoire
  2. anarchohedonism reblogged this from unshamefulness
  3. randomlylazy0000 reblogged this from msfcatlover
  4. feelingdeadinside reblogged this from personofminorinterest
  5. not-enough-homestuck-upinthis reblogged this from personofminorinterest
  6. ohgodtheyarealltaken reblogged this from msfcatlover
  7. personofminorinterest reblogged this from msfcatlover
  8. msfcatlover reblogged this from ink-phoenix
  9. wandering-bruja reblogged this from thesecretlifeofachristianwitch
  10. ameanoldacids reblogged this from etharei
  11. shadowsaber687 reblogged this from lloyd-the-barista
  12. lokabarn reblogged this from hobbitkaiju
  13. bloodanna reblogged this from apfelgranate
  14. ryokomitsuragi reblogged this from lloyd-the-barista
  15. boodlesandtonicplz reblogged this from brierobbie
  16. indeedeeslaboratory reblogged this from airagorncharda
  17. ratmeister reblogged this from aturinfortheworse
  18. wolfietheepicwolf reblogged this from aturinfortheworse
  19. aturinfortheworse reblogged this from punchbuggydragon
  20. erinsdiaryblog reblogged this from apocalypticpasta
  21. sadbabyosborn reblogged this from tpringing
  22. intoxicatingimmediacy reblogged this from etharei
  23. birdsofvienna reblogged this from quizzicallyqueer
  24. bbcpainaggregation reblogged this from notsomolly