"Developing the ability to piss other people off (or even to RISK pissing them off) without knuckling under is pretty much the Holy Grail of emotionally abused kids, I think. We are programmed to respond at the first sign of displeasure, and we don’t have the faith in ourselves and our decisions to weather the storm– or even a mild sprinkle– so we tend to freak out as if the world was ending if a cloud crosses the sun. We freak out about the possibility that we’re wrong, that we’re doing the wrong things, that we’re making the wrong choices, that we’ll make someone angry, because there’s this awful certainty lurking at the back of our minds that says “If you do the wrong thing, you will be in TROUBLE.” And being in TROUBLE is the worst thing, ever, because that part of our brain is forever three years old where our parents are our whole world and being in TROUBLE is the end of everything.

It takes a lot of practice to gain that sort of gut-level knowledge that we’re strong enough to handle this stuff and that the world doesn’t end if someone else is angry at us. It’s not an innate quality that some people have and some don’t; people who grow up in non-abusive homes learn it when they’re young, is all, and the rest of us have to learn it when we’re grown up. And it sucks, and it’s not fair, and it’s not fun, but there’s no getting around it, and you can do it, you CAN.

You can piss people off.

You can be wrong.

You can fuck up.

You can do stuff that everyone thinks is weird.

AND IT IS ALL OKAY. The world won’t end. You will still be a good person. And the likelihood is that most of the things you do WON’T be wrong, and WON’T piss people off, and WON’T be up-fuckery, and WON’T be weird, but if it is? The hell with it; fix it, if necessary, and move on."

PomperaFirpa @Captain Awkward (via ladysaviours)

Needed this today.

(via one-bite-at-a-time)

I almost cried the other night because Ben didn’t understand what I meant when I said that I was afraid of being in trouble. I should probably show him this. (via lizardsqueezings)

well fuck, this explains a LOT about me. 

(via vampishly)

me too :(

(via hardhatpartycat)

same

(via cereal-for-supper)

  1. cute-but-psych0 reblogged this from l-a-c-u-n-a
  2. l-a-c-u-n-a reblogged this from shakespeareanquotation
  3. teamswitch reblogged this from provocatoria
  4. officialmooseofcanada reblogged this from witnessarias
  5. thebedsheets reblogged this from ladysaviours
  6. cheerfullysane reblogged this from fedoraharp
  7. snap-crackle-pop-rice-kristens reblogged this from the-place-over-the-rainbow
  8. hope-mundane reblogged this from illusivethief
  9. illusivethief reblogged this from despairsfortune
  10. untilthesunhides reblogged this from everythingistemporaryanyway
  11. despairsfortune reblogged this from myresin
  12. fedoraharp reblogged this from dgcatanisiri
  13. briansabbey reblogged this from natureslittlecriminal
  14. biesha reblogged this from natureslittlecriminal
  15. anatomyofagun reblogged this from mugumugu
  16. fina-thehuman reblogged this from tylerthelatteboy
  17. myresin reblogged this from dgcatanisiri
  18. typewriter-ribbons reblogged this from natureslittlecriminal
  19. discoverjames reblogged this from dgcatanisiri
  20. dgcatanisiri reblogged this from fairytalesandfallenangels
  21. zhirea78 reblogged this from shakespeareanquotation
  22. shakespeareanquotation reblogged this from natureslittlecriminal
  23. natureslittlecriminal reblogged this from ecouter-bien
  24. everythingistemporaryanyway reblogged this from kidleykindly
  25. darlingangel7 reblogged this from disabledbyculture
  26. kidleykindly reblogged this from sabelmouse
  27. astray-thought reblogged this from brinconvenient
  28. mismatched-shoes reblogged this from waresy
  29. sabelmouse reblogged this from nodamncatnodamncradle
  30. takolulu reblogged this from scelestiic